Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+ More musings from Best Clubman, A dig at the Blues, Fev and his Mrs

[Fairybread]

NEXT TIME WE WON’T GO BAREBACK
Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Dogs are fit, lightning fast off the mark, illiterate and enjoy urinating in public - all traits shared with Brendan Fevola. However, unlike a dog, Brendan Fevola just won’t do what he is told.

The Blues were embarrassed by Essendon on Friday night on a scale incomprehensible to anyone who didn’t take the field for Port Adelaide in the 2007 grand final.

Out run, out fought and, most surprisingly, out muscled by a Bombers team supposed to be several years away from a return to mediocrity.

With every talk-back caller with a biting wit putting their own spin on the “They Know We’re Coming” proclamation in the days since Friday’s mauling, every man and his dog (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) seems intent on laying the slippers into the Blues and, particularly, Fevola.

Just for the record, Best Clubman’s variation of Carlton’s marketing theme is “We Already Came Luv, Next Time We Won‘t Go Bareback.” Unbelievably, that was the best moniker the Best Clubman office could come up with despite five hours of workshopping the thing.

With his direct opponent Tate Pears repeatedly running off Fevola to set up several goals during the match, the media spotlight has again been firmly pointed in the burly full-forward’s direction.

This understandable given that, on at least three occasions, Fevola failed to even chase Pears before responding to requests from his colleagues to do so with a shrug of the shoulders.

Overall, Fevola looked about as interested in chasing his opponent and doing the little things as he would be if he tuned into Sunday Arts with Michael Veitch on the ABC.

This is in marked contrast to Round 22 last season when Fevola chased, tackled and harassed everything in sight in order to try and get to the 100-goal mark, which displays his basic me-first psychology and determination to anything that benefits himself.

Best Clubman’s immediate recollections of Fevola’s career can’t recall one unselfish deed, unless you count marrying wife Alex and taking her away from a life of caravans, Bacardi Breezers, KFC and working at a Supre somewhere in Melbourne’s outer south-east.

Another insipidly selfish display has many people calling for Fev’s head and for coach Brett Ratten to demote him to the reserves until Fevola learns to display a defensive presence that wouldn‘t get beaten up by a Jonas Brother.

Fev is what he is, so that is unlikely to happen. But Ratten may cop a temporary reprieve with the big man undergoing finger surgery last night, placing him in doubt for this week’s crunch match against Fremantle, which represents the first instance where the terms “Fremantle” and “crunch match” have been used in the same sentence.

The club failed to offer any explanation as to how Fevola injured his appendage, but replays from Friday night suggest it may have been while he was pointing at a distant Tate Pears and telling someone else to pick him up.

source

[Spirit Of Ailsa]

NEXT TIME WE WON’T GO BAREBACK
Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Dogs are fit, lightning fast off the mark, illiterate and enjoy urinating in public - all traits shared with Brendan Fevola. However, unlike a dog, Brendan Fevola just won’t do what he is told.

The Blues were embarrassed by Essendon on Friday night on a scale incomprehensible to anyone who didn’t take the field for Port Adelaide in the 2007 grand final.

Out run, out fought and, most surprisingly, out muscled by a Bombers team supposed to be several years away from a return to mediocrity.

With every talk-back caller with a biting wit putting their own spin on the “They Know We’re Coming” proclamation in the days since Friday’s mauling, every man and his dog (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) seems intent on laying the slippers into the Blues and, particularly, Fevola.

Just for the record, Best Clubman’s variation of Carlton’s marketing theme is “We Already Came Luv, Next Time We Won‘t Go Bareback.” Unbelievably, that was the best moniker the Best Clubman office could come up with despite five hours of workshopping the thing.

With his direct opponent Tate Pears repeatedly running off Fevola to set up several goals during the match, the media spotlight has again been firmly pointed in the burly full-forward’s direction.

This understandable given that, on at least three occasions, Fevola failed to even chase Pears before responding to requests from his colleagues to do so with a shrug of the shoulders.

Overall, Fevola looked about as interested in chasing his opponent and doing the little things as he would be if he tuned into Sunday Arts with Michael Veitch on the ABC.

This is in marked contrast to Round 22 last season when Fevola chased, tackled and harassed everything in sight in order to try and get to the 100-goal mark, which displays his basic me-first psychology and determination to anything that benefits himself.

Best Clubman’s immediate recollections of Fevola’s career can’t recall one unselfish deed, unless you count marrying wife Alex and taking her away from a life of caravans, Bacardi Breezers, KFC and working at a Supre somewhere in Melbourne’s outer south-east.

Another insipidly selfish display has many people calling for Fev’s head and for coach Brett Ratten to demote him to the reserves until Fevola learns to display a defensive presence that wouldn‘t get beaten up by a Jonas Brother.

Fev is what he is, so that is unlikely to happen. But Ratten may cop a temporary reprieve with the big man undergoing finger surgery last night, placing him in doubt for this week’s crunch match against Fremantle, which represents the first instance where the terms “Fremantle” and “crunch match” have been used in the same sentence.

The club failed to offer any explanation as to how Fevola injured his appendage, but replays from Friday night suggest it may have been while he was pointing at a distant Tate Pears and telling someone else to pick him up.

source

nasty but funny, kinda.

[Captain Jack]

Two other terms that are mutually exclusive and should not be used in the same sentence are Brendon Fevola and Best Club Man.

“They Know We’re Coming”

This marketing slogan has become a real millstone around their necks. They must dread ever having come up with it for this year. Credit Essendon for destroying this lame line.

[yaco55]

Two other terms that are mutually exclusive and should not be used in the same sentence are Brendon Fevola and Best Club Man. 

“They Know We’re Coming”

This marketing slogan has become a real millstone around their necks. They must dread ever having come up with it for this year. Credit Essendon for destroying this lame line.

It has really been a millstone arounf their neck.

Record membership, excellent crowds etc.

[Reboot]

Two other terms that are mutually exclusive and should not be used in the same sentence are Brendon Fevola and Best Club Man. 

“They Know We’re Coming”

This marketing slogan has become a real millstone around their necks. They must dread ever having come up with it for this year. Credit Essendon for destroying this lame line.

It has really been a millstone arounf their neck.

Record membership, excellent crowds etc.

the point ........................................................................... it went that way!

[CyberBomber]

Two other terms that are mutually exclusive and should not be used in the same sentence are Brendon Fevola and Best Club Man. 

“They Know We’re Coming”

This marketing slogan has become a real millstone around their necks. They must dread ever having come up with it for this year. Credit Essendon for destroying this lame line.

It has really been a millstone arounf their neck.

Record membership, excellent crowds etc.

Never good to come too soon - surely they're all old enough to have worked that one out. Then again, if I was Fev's missus I'd want it over as soon as possible

[RedNBlackEyed]

This is in marked contrast to Round 22 last season when Fevola chased, tackled and harassed everything in sight in order to try and get to the 100-goal mark, which displays his basic me-first psychology and determination to anything that benefits himself.

And we all know what a let down that effort proved to be! Yeah, things don't look
too promising for Alex on the pleasure front, to be sure...

[Captain Jack]

Two other terms that are mutually exclusive and should not be used in the same sentence are Brendon Fevola and Best Club Man. 

“They Know We’re Coming”

This marketing slogan has become a real millstone around their necks. They must dread ever having come up with it for this year. Credit Essendon for destroying this lame line.

It has really been a millstone arounf their neck.

Record membership, excellent crowds etc.

Once bitten, twice shy yaco !!!

[MadzLuvsGus]

Out run, out fought and, most surprisingly, out muscled by a Bombers team supposed to be several years away from a return to mediocrity.

yes, we're not mediocre anymore....several years away, after our flag tilt is over

[Crazy Bomber]

Isn't this article from a blog?

[Spirit Of Ailsa]

This is in marked contrast to Round 22 last season when Fevola chased, tackled and harassed everything in sight in order to try and get to the 100-goal mark, which displays his basic me-first psychology and determination to anything that benefits himself.

And we all know what a let down that effort proved to be! Yeah, things don't look
too promising for Alex on the pleasure front, to be sure...

I think you farked up the quote dude?

[RedNBlackEyed]

This is in marked contrast to Round 22 last season when Fevola chased, tackled and harassed everything in sight in order to try and get to the 100-goal mark, which displays his basic me-first psychology and determination to anything that benefits himself.

And we all know what a let down that effort proved to be! Yeah, things don't look
too promising for Alex on the pleasure front, to be sure...

I think you farked up the quote dude?

Hey, look, whats that over there...??

[Mendozaaaa]

Best Clubman’s immediate recollections of Fevola’s career can’t recall one unselfish deed, unless you count marrying wife Alex and taking her away from a life of caravans, Bacardi Breezers, KFC and working at a Supre somewhere in Melbourne’s outer south-east.

L O L

[Fairybread]

Isn't this article from a blog?

Yes. Link to original source posted in OP.

[crunchy frog]

Comments about Fev's missus are beyond the pale. She is not a public figure therefore shouldn't be ridiculed just to create a laugh. Especially when, I assume, the ridicule is based on a superficial perception.

Sometimes I wonder about our contemporary impersonal, yet very public, form of conversation. A mean-spirited joke on a little backwater like this only has to attract the attention of one other mean-spirited person with access to a bigger backwater and dominos start falling towards bigger and bigger stages. Isn't this blog an example of this?

This is not gossiping over a back fence. This is throwing gossip - and slander - into an ocean where there's millions casting nets. And in an environment where 'personal responsibility' is an anachronism.

Ridicule Fev because he's willingly strutting the public stage and - often - making a fool of himself. But, his missus? His kids?

<C.F. steps off his pedestal!>